That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
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My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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