...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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