Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
