I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Is Oprah even human
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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