Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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