I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I love you. Go after that dick
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
