my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
