i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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