i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
