Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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