What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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