YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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