I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
