Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
