so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
