fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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