dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize