wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
