She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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