I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My vagina just recognized that song.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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