you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
