Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
