What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
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