She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I want you more than these girls want KFC
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
