I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
