I seem to have left my pride at pride
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We're too hungover to prance.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
