I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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