drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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