I cut my penus on the lid.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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