ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
