STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My dick has a subreddit
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
