if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
3pm strippers are depressing
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
