she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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