I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
