Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
third nipple confirmed
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
