Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
