; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
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