yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
