I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
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Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
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He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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