We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
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All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
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I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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