There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
