My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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