we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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