I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
