my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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