Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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