were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Its about making memories worth repressing
4 words: hood of his car
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
