Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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