my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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