My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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