just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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