Your tits are I can't wait for
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
