Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
A bitchslap is in order.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
