And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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