Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
