Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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